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Older postsTony Blair: Please like me again.
british legion, george bush, iraq war, Tony blair, Tony Blair memoirs
So the former Prime Minister may not have actually uttered these words, but it’s blatantly the wish behind his somewhat desperate attempt of getting back in the warmth by donating the advance of his new memoirs to the British Legion, more specifically the rehabilitation of soldiers returning from service.
Oh Tony, you really do make me chuckle. You could get up in front of a hundred thousand people at Wembley Stadium with your own rendition of Bryan Adams’ “Please Forgive Me” and it would make just as little an impact as your donation of a few million pounds. Now, some have gone as far as to refer to Tony Blair’s donation as “blood money”, a term that I personally think has lost its meaning a lot the way people throw it about. I’d be more inclined to refer to the money as a bribe, or a poor attempt of a bribe.
Tony Blair got into office a very popular man, mainly because he has some sort of complex when it comes to popularity and fame, and hence he chases it relentlessly. I’m not saying that England under Blair was a bad one, he did do some good. However what a lot of people is going to remember him for is the lives lost under him for joining a cowboy on a hunt for WOMD (read as oil), and someone who so desperately wants to make the history books and remain in people’s minds as a hero that he thought donating some money would make up for joining the most talked about Easter egg hunt in the history of, well, Easter.
I could give you numbers of people killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. I could give you numbers of British soldiers killed due to allied mistakes if I was really feeling like hammering in the point as to why joining a war with America is a bad idea. I’m not going to though; as all it does is reduce someone’s child, someone’s sibling and someone’s parent to a number. There’s a rather common saying in media, different variations of “you cannot put a value on a human life.” Seems like Tony Blair disagrees though, he’s put a value on the lives of those who fought and died, those who lost limbs, those who lost friends, who lost everything, those who are still fighting an never-ending war. £4.6 million. Doesn’t seem that much of an effort, considering he has earned more than four times that since leaving his post as Prime Minister just as we faced a financial crisis.
Still, I digress. After all, the money isn’t serving its purpose. I’m sorry Tony, it seems forgiveness can’t be bought, and people are still more likely to mention you in the same breath as your pal Bush than the likes of Churchill. Guess you should have thought about that before you got into bed with someone whose most challenging daily task is to figure out which shoe goes on which foot.
Sil, x
Sil
Comments (0)Quiet like a mouse
Cameron, Conservatives, cricket, England, Football, Lib Dem, man united, manchester united, Nick Clegg, Politics, World Cup
Is kind of how I’ve been lately really. I’m afraid life’s been rather busy lately, and it’s stopped me giving my opinion of all things great and wonderful that have been happening in the world.
There’s the weather. Pollen infestation one day, hail and misery the next. If there is a God, which I am pretty sure there isn’t, you are in so much trouble for messing me about the way you have. I wish for once England like most of the world would follow the logic of having four seasons in a year, not four season in two fucking weeks.
There’s the resignation of David Laws, who has retsigned after it became public he spent £40 000 paying his boyfriend’s rent. Well, his fella has to have one hell of a pad is all I’m saying, talk about being looked after well. Give it three months and I reckon most Lib Dem Government officials will have “resigned” due to simillar reason. Not nessessarily because they are guilty, which Laws blatantly is, but because it’d be the easiest way for Cameron to ensure his government remains a Tory powerpoint. Lets face it, at the moment it’s pretty much like watching the KKK and a Gospel choir playing happy families, and there’s no way in hell that’ll last that long. Especially not five years, however much Cameron may want to continue doing Clegg and his mates up the arse.
England beat Bangladesh in their first test match. Well, who gives a shit, watching cricket’s like cutting your wrists then watching them bleed out slowly and think of it as entertainment.
Alicia Keys is pregnant, and getting married. Jealous.
The World Cup’s coming up, and England needed Japan to score two own goals to ensure they won their friendly the other day. Yes people, we’re so good we need Japan to score on our behalf. I’m sure that’ll win us the World Cup… really… Bunch of naive twats. When we go out you’re all going to blame Rooney for not running enough, or not scoring enough, so how about you stop cheering for the player who you jeer for most of the year and just start booing him now. That way he may realise that United really is greater than England. By a landslide people.
Dennis Hopper’s passed away. Gutted. For once I’m not going to make any jokes.
In other news, we’re still in a recession, the country is run by worms who are more worthless than a lab rat refusing to test the newest shade in lipstick and I have a bad ankle.
Till next time boys and girl,
Sil, X
Sil
Things to do
brown, Cameron, Labour, Member of Parliament, MI5, Politics, the Queen, tories, tory government
When your country is being fucked over royally as the result of a Conservative government.
1. Infiltrate MI5 and get them to execute orders to have David Cameron killed by orders of the Queen. (No I am not being serious, please do not have me locked up for terrorism, I honestly am joking. Really. At least a little bit. Mostly)
2. Send David Cameron love letters and sign them William Hague, make sure the letters look legit. Hence sound pompous and arrogant, whilst showing appreciation that the amount of blowjobs that have been exchanged between the two have now lead to a great political position for the both of them. Then leak the letters to the Sun, who, lets face it, will print anything.
3. Infiltrate the palace wearing Mission Impossible style disguise to appear as David Cameron, get into the Queen’s bed then say in very posh voice: “Ma’am, I would like to thank you for giving me the power to fuck this country up the backside, by analy buggering you.”
4. Give Gordon Brown a hug. Let’s face it, he could probably really do with one.
5. Watch Fringe on Sky 1 HD. Not because it will help matters in the slightest, but quite frankly Science Fiction is a hell of a lot more appealing than reality. I would prefer the world exploding due to improbable continual opening of gateways between parallel worlds than a Tory government.
6. Get a time machine. Travel five years into the future, see what state the UK is in by then and hence decide whether to become a harem girl in Saudi Arabia as of next week.
7. Expect the worst. It can never really be as bad as expected. Lib Dem will have some say won’t they. We won’t all get screwed over totally.
8. Believe in the power of positive thinking.
9. Realise positive thinking does not work.
10. Become an excessive drinker, smoker and all around annoying little cunt. And probably become a Member of Parliament as a result of it.
Sil, x
Sil
Clegg screwed us
2010 Election, Cameron, Conservatives, Labour, Lib Dem, Nick Clegg, tories
I admit, I didn’t see it coming. Well at least not before the election. Is Nick Clegg really so desperate for power that he is willing to go into a coalition government with the party who is as far right as he is left? We will not get electoral reform under the Tories, ignore what they’re telling you Nicky, they’re lying. Did they promise you that they would not close the mines (are there even any left to close?) or that they would not steal any candy (or milk) from small children?
I for one feel like I’ve just been fucked up the backside by the biggest cock known to man, and I did not enjoy it at all. By the look of Lord Mandelson’s face on Sky, I’d make a well educated guess that it is in fact over. Labour should have done more to ensure a deal could be reached, that much is for certain, but the Liberal Democrats should never have gone in for a deal with the Tories. You’ve sold us out Nick, and it’s not for the better of the country, it’s for the better of you and your need for power, something which you will never achieve whilst working with the scum of the earth. You have sold your soul to the Devil, perhaps because he wears nice suits and speaks poshly and so you can relate to him.
I for one will never be able to forgive Nick Clegg for going in for a coalition with the Conservatives. You will not get what you want, there will be no Liberal Democrat passing of laws or policies, you will spend the next five years being raped prison style over and over by the devil and his hell hounds. And we will pay the price for you.
I hope you’re happy Nick, you have a few hours to make it up to me and prove me wrong, but I can’t see it happening. You’ve made me fall out of love with you, and I only hope that your party peers decide to go against your wishes, and if they do not you may all feel free to rot in hell.
Sil, x
Sil
My heart is pounding
brown, Cameron, clegg, com-dem, late night call, lib-deb, lib-lab, premiership
Late night call between Clegg and Brown confirmed, could it be that we may get what we want after all?
This is going to be a very very short post, as that’s pretty much all I wanted to say. However I have to admit it has got my blood pumping. Logically, and politically, Labour and the Liberal-Democrats are much more compatible than the posh twats and Lib-Dem are. Yes I realise Clegg’s a Cambridge graduate, but I’m sorry, the fact that he’s got a good education doesn’t mean he’s a posh twat, I know plenty of well educated people who’re complete and utter commoners. Which is good, because that’s my peeps.
If Clegg rolls over and decides to let Dave “please beat the posh twat out of me” Cameron fuck him up the arse, then I have to admit that will be it for me as far as the Liberal Democrats go. Clegg’ll have lost me as quickly as he’s won me, and I will not be the only one. Despite the disappointing amount of seats won by Nicky and his party, the actual percentage of votes were not at all that bad. Of course it could have been better, and perhaps if a bunch of people hadn’t tactically voted to keep the Tories out (that went well eh) they may have been.
So as I go to bed, I shall be keeping my hopes up that we will see a love story rivalling that of Titanic (I fucking hate that film, I was so happy when Leo Di Caprio’s character died, I actually laughed a little) developing between Gordy and Nicky. Oh how happy that would make me, and if nothing else it is keeping my mind off tomorrow and what it brings… the final match of the season. Ugh, Imayhaveaheartattack.com.
Sil, x
P.S. I’m holding out for a hero, I’m holding out for a lib-lab at the end of the day… It just popped into my head and won’t leave. Kinda catchy, no?
Sil
UN to interfere with UK Election
Battle Royale, BNP, Cameron, crimes against humanity, hague, tories
No, this isn’t breaking news at all, but it very well could be. Whenever there are elections held in countries where the current “government” or the people attempting to get to power cannot be trusted, the Western World and the people campaigning for equality and democracy tend to go running. So how come they aren’t coming running to our aid?
Hundreds of people all over the country have not been allowed to vote due to local government fuck ups, or to your regular conspiracy theorist, cheating. It may not seem like very much, after all what can a couple of hundred voters do right? Those couple of hundred add up to start with, but more importantly, if they’ve fucked that up, what else can they have messed up.
Sod Labour, Sod the Conservatives and double sod that slimy git that is the posh little cunt David Cameron. England isn’t a democracy, a Tory party whose interests serve only those who are rich and influential does not show a fair country. Perhaps if English politicians would climb out of the days of a British Empire and the thirst for power that comes with it they may realise that for England to function in a modern society the political system will need an overhaul. At some point people will grow tired of watching their appointed MPs yelling at each other in the House of Commons like little school boys and girls, and instead want something to be done.
Perhaps the next step should be to suggest the people who voted Tory should be put in front of the Hague, charged with crimes against humanity. Or we could just put both them and those voting BNP on a deserted island and encourage a real life idiot participant Battle Royale.
Sil, x
Sil
I may have to leave the country
Conservatives, Election, John Terry, NHS, Santa, tories
I have to admit, writing this I am feeling very concerned that I may have to give up my season ticket at Old Trafford and leave England forever, or at least for five years.
No, there’s no warrant out for my arrest, nor have I got a crazy stalker (at the moment) or am taking my fear of commitment to the next level and leaving the country. It is of course the election I’m talking about, and the possibility of a Conservative government. I am so sorry England, you lovely little island, but if Cameron gets to power, the prospects of five years under the Tories makes me weep on the inside.
There’s nothing inside me that makes me feel connected to the Tories. I’m not posh, hell every other word I say is fuck or cunt, unless I’m working or in a some other social environment that requires me to behave somewhat politely. I’m not in the top ten percent wealthy people, nor am I a homophobic old codger who thinks divorce is evil and women voting should still be illegal. So the thought of spending the next five years watch Cameron ruin the country I call home is pretty depressive, as in hand me that bottle of vodka so I can drink myself into oblivion depressive.
I understand the frustration felt by the English people, the recession, immigration, educational levels, NHS problems, John Terry’s inability to keep his cock in his trousers… they’re all valid issues, but there is NO reason for people to want to add to our problems by putting that slimy little git in charge.
So please, please, please PRETTY please don’t let the Tories in, I promise I’ll never ask Santa for anything else ever again.
Sil, x
Sil
Pope condoms?
AIDS, benedict, Britain, choir boys, condoms, osama bin laden, popal visit, pope, terrorism
Now I’m not a woman of faith. Unless you count United, which is the only religion I am likely to ever have. I have no issues with other people’s faith, but it’s not for me, I am not capable of believing in things I cannot touch or I do not know to exist, and find religion often is at the root of problems rather than being a solution Plus, if there is a God, quite frankly, he’s a fucking twat.
Now, if you have picked up a paper in the last month, even the rags that are the Sun or the Mirror, you will know that there will be a visit from the pope in the not too distant future, the first to take place in 28 years. Now I have a huge issue with Catholicism. Between abusive priests, the refusal to aid in the prevention of AIDS and the refusal to accept the taking place of the Holocaust (I mean for fuck’s sake, how bloody narrow minded can one religious establishment be?) it is my firm belief that an institution that refuses to be of service to the modern world does not have a place in such a world. Now I’m not tarnishing the entire Catholic world with the same brush, there are plenty of Catholics who condemn their establishment, who respect other religions and who do not believe that their church has always been in the right when behaving in their usually cowardly manner.
Now firstly there were the news breaking that leading atheist Richard Dawkins supported actions to have the pope arrested on arrival in the United Kingdom for crimes against humanity, an initiative led by Christopher Hitchens. Although a slightly amusing notion, this was never going to happen, lets face it, Osama Bin Laden could go walking down the streets of London and people probably wouldn’t bother to have him arrested. Then the Taliban with all of their terrorism have not caused the deaths that the Aids epidemic in Africa are claiming and will continue to claim.
Now back on point, before I get too serious and depressive, today we learned that the young civil servant who circulated a “disrespectful” document in regards to items to be considered for the pope to perform when visiting Britain is Steven Mulvain, a 23-year old Oxford graduate. Now I am not a very politically correct person. I make jokes that people who don’t know me probably would take as rather offensive, although I do tend to be careful so I do not make these jokes in front of people who may be offended, or how I see it, do not have the intelligence to find society amusing rather than depressive to the point of making you want to slit your wrists, after having shot yourself in the knee caps whilst forcing yourself to watch Strictly Come Dancing reruns.
The memo, which was given the all clear by a senior civil servant (I’m guessing he wasn’t a Tory), was sent to Downing Street as well as three Whitehall departments and had some absolutely brilliant suggestions in it, very tongue in cheek, who I for one is over the moon made the news.
Now one of the suggestions, I actually think is an absolutely brilliant idea, the launching of a range of “Benedict” condoms. Quite frankly, I think that may endear the Catholic church to the rest of society at a time when the church is facing a lot of criticism. Opening an abortion clinic may be more moronic than it is funny. As I have said before, despite my disagreements with many religious establishments, especially the Catholic church, I do not think that if this suggestion was made in even a partly serious manner should it ever have been mentioned in writing. I think abortion is a choice all women should have, Catholic, Muslim or atheist, but I also think, despite being pro-abortion, this one suggestion was not made to be funny or is even Un-PC, it’s just childish and a little bit desperate.
I can’t really imagine Pope Benedict XVI blessing a gay marriage either. To be honest it seems that men in power in the Catholic church seem to like to keep their gay preferences a secret and take their closet homosexuality out on choir boys, so I doubt it Benny is going to openly admit that he do enjoys a bit of man on man action. After all, people are only going to assume he too is a paedophile, when lets face it, he had enough bad press when it came out that he was a Hitler Jugend.
Personally I think that the English government, whomever that may be when the Pope is schedueled to visit (although lets face it, we may by then be living in anarchy taken from scenes of the Mad Max trilogy) should ban the pope from visiting. The English state church is not Catholic, nor has it been in half a millenium (long live crazy royals) and although a percentage of the English people are catholic, in my eyes the pope is no better than a terrorist and until he is willing to accept responsibility for his people, which includes helping to aid the end of the AIDS epidemic in Africa rather than aid the spreading of the illness as well as admitting to his churches wrong doings he should not be let into the country.
Personally I’m all for locking him up in a room with his sick, sex-deprived priests till he realises just where he’s been going wrong.
Sil, x
Sil
Vote for Change
conservative, Conservatives, criminals, David Cameron, election debate, Gordon Brown, leader's debate, Nick Clegg, vote for change
Clegg: Size matters. Well at least his jokes are funny aren’t they? I have to admit that thus far, which is only twenty minutes in, my opinions remains that Clegg remains the better of the three. Cameron continues to spend his time having a go at both Brown and Clegg, whilst Brown alternates between defending himself and talking up his opponent in Clegg. It seems Brown may have partly given up on the election and is thinking he would rather have a Lib Dem government than take a “vote for change”.
Now lets take a second and think about the Conservative slogan, “Vote for Change.” Living in a Conservative constituency I would like to warn the people who think that this change is supposed to be a good thing. My MP is someone very high up in the Conservative Party, he holds a lot of power and is generally well liked within his party. He’s also is well known for putting his friends ahead, often paying contractors friendly to his party much more (at one point up to twice) of what was quoted by other independent contractors. He has one of the lowest, if not the lowest expense bill from the last tax year, which sounds good doesn’t it? Except you would struggle to find an MP whose salary is higher or close to that of his. His local conscience doesn’t stretch beyond those who vote for him, despite claiming he is there for his whole constituency. Oh and he’s a prat. So lets recap; bent, spends government money on quotes that benefit him rather than the local borough, has not improved policing, which has instead became worse whilst crime is on the rise both in serious violence as well as drugs. That the change you would like? Get rid of one government you’re unhappy with to replace it with a bunch of slimy, bent career criminals. Yes I realise that they are not convicted criminals, but in the manner which they run my borough, and the manner in which they will run the country will be criminal, and once again it will be those of us who do not make the top money, who cannot afford private health care and do not spend our weekends at the Country Club who will suffer.
So people, don’t get fooled by Cameron and his face which looks much like Eyjafjallajokull mid volcanic eruption, you will not be voting for change. You’ll just doom your country, and you will be wishing a volcano would come up and swallow our country whole.
Sil, x
Sil
Clegg to fall apart?
Conservatives, David Cameron, election 2010, election debate, Gordon Brown, Labour, Lib Dem, liberal democrats, Nick Clegg, Politics, tories
So being the socially conscious girl that I am (I DO think about things besides sex people, hint read my other blogs too you perverts) of course I had to watch the Electoral debate last week. I have to admit I was pretty impressed with what I saw, especially from the Liberal Democrat leader, Nick Clegg. I know I have mentioned him before concluding that “It’s like PE class all over again isn’t it, no one is going to pick the silent geek in the back for their team, hell even his friends tend to struggle to remember who is some of the time.” Well Clegg, last Thursday you proved me wrong and the next time I’m playing football, I will make sure I pick you first.
Now I’m not going to get into a lengthy discussion on policies, promises and politics, mainly because I like to keep my blogs somewhat short. Plus I’d have to talk about Cameron to some extent and mentioning his name alone is enough to make me throw up a little in my mouth.
When watching the debate last Thursday I found it very strange how the colours of the Party Leaders’ ties seemed to be great representatives of how the three men of the moment managed their first live, televised debate. Brown’s pink tie was a pretty good image for the soft man that was portrayed. Despite at one point getting a good dig in against Cameron (which I am all for), Brown came across weak and pale, much like his tie, and his performance became worse as his tie went further and further away from the middle point. Now I realised one shouldn’t judge a politician purely on appearance, but if Brown cannot even keep his tie in the right place (and it was already crooked at the start of the debate) how is he supposed to manage another five years in charge of a country that he has already let down on several occasions? Plus, I’m pretty sure that the way he was going on, Brown himself would not vote for Labour, but instead give his vote to Clegg and the Liberal Democrats, for whom he seemed to develope more and more love.
Cameron. Oh Dave, you really are a twat. Firstly, your performance last week was horrendous. Not only did you fall apart answering questions, your face turning red with the stress you were seemingly under (Brown looked calmer than you, that’s not a good thing), but your baby blue tie, rather than give you youthful charm, enhanced your juvenile behaviour of jumping on everyone else rather than defending your own policies with even an ounce of conviction. And you have yet to stop. I really wish that politicians would realise that perhaps winning an election would be better done by talking about your policies and stick to the promises you make, or at least try to, rather than do nothing but badmouthing your opponents because you have no faith you can win in any other way.
I was very impressed with Nick Clegg last week, his golden tie was a lovely image for him becoming the golden boy after his brilliant performance on last week’s debate. Although I was prepared to say that I would love to vote for Clegg based on the tie alone (I really loved the tie, I’m weird like that), I have to admit I am very curious to see if Clegg keeps up his performance tonight, especially as he will be facing some very tough questions in regards to the latest accusations in regards to Lib Dem party donations going through his bank account. Although I admit that Clegg and his party still lack the national support to have a chance at winning the election, it would if nothing else make the next few weeks exciting if he can build on his performance and put his stamp on the race rather than leaving it to be a two man marathon heading for disaster (also known as a hung parliament).
For the record, Cameron believes that a hung parliament will lead to economic disaster and quite possibly another Vulcano outbreak which will eventually lead to the end of the world. Well if he’s that worried about our future, he could always drop out of the race and save us that way rather than attempting to scare people into voting for him.
Sil, x
Sil
