I have to admit, writing this I am feeling very concerned that I may have to give up my season ticket at Old Trafford and leave England forever, or at least for five years.
No, there’s no warrant out for my arrest, nor have I got a crazy stalker (at the moment) or am taking my fear of commitment to the next level and leaving the country. It is of course the election I’m talking about, and the possibility of a Conservative government. I am so sorry England, you lovely little island, but if Cameron gets to power, the prospects of five years under the Tories makes me weep on the inside.
There’s nothing inside me that makes me feel connected to the Tories. I’m not posh, hell every other word I say is fuck or cunt, unless I’m working or in a some other social environment that requires me to behave somewhat politely. I’m not in the top ten percent wealthy people, nor am I a homophobic old codger who thinks divorce is evil and women voting should still be illegal. So the thought of spending the next five years watch Cameron ruin the country I call home is pretty depressive, as in hand me that bottle of vodka so I can drink myself into oblivion depressive.
I understand the frustration felt by the English people, the recession, immigration, educational levels, NHS problems, John Terry’s inability to keep his cock in his trousers… they’re all valid issues, but there is NO reason for people to want to add to our problems by putting that slimy little git in charge.
So please, please, please PRETTY please don’t let the Tories in, I promise I’ll never ask Santa for anything else ever again.
Then never to have loved at all. Bull. Shit. What kind of an idiot came up with that phrase? (Alfred Tennyson, but that’s besides the point) It’s like saying I don’t mind that I came home to find my fiancé shagging his secretary, because I just appreciate all the times he fucked me.
So I just finished watching 27 Dresses, if you haven’t watched it, it’s a RomCom starring Katherine Heigl and James Marsden (Cyclops in X-Men, Yum-myyy) and the plot is basically following this woman who is always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Original huh, after all there haven’t quite been enough RomComs about weddings. I admit I did find it quite funny, but it did remind me about what I hate the most about spring.
Wedding invitations. Every spring, it seems that half the world is getting ready to wed (to those of you who get married in winter, good for you). When you’re finally tired of winter, and have recovered from the excitement of having real snow (you know, the kind our parents haven’t seen since they were children) and you start to enjoy the sun and lovely smells of spring (unless you live in central London), some madly in love, but eventually doomed, couple has to go on and ruin your enjoyment.
Yes. I am indeed a love Grinch. I mean what’s the point? People rushing into marriage because they’re so desperate to get a paper agreement that would ensure breaking up would be a hell of a lot harder than if you’re just dating? I’m very happy for everyone out there who are so in love and fluffy, cute and happy, but do you think maybe you could stop rubbing our faces in it? At least wait till it’s winter again, and it’s too dark for us to have to look at your disgusting public tokens of affection.
P.S. No, I’m not jealous.
P.S.S. Not at all. (Really).
So, I’ve just been told that I’ve missed the international pillow fight day which took place yesterday. I am actually really disappointed, I mean, if you’re anything like me you’re thinking half naked people hitting each other with pillows, preferably good looking ones, and who wouldn’t want to be a part of that? Good looking people that is, really don’t care what the pillows look like.
So I have a look at some pictures from this so called international pillow fight day, and I have to admit I was sorely dissapointed. No half naked men, no women in sexy underwear, just overdressed, not really my type of people hitting each other really hard with pillows. Not very sexy.
So if anyone out there have any good pictures from international pillow fight day, or perhaps want to share some pictures from your own private pillow fights… please feel free to contact me.
P.s I like rugged men and women with a good ass.