Now I’m not a woman of faith. Unless you count United, which is the only religion I am likely to ever have. I have no issues with other people’s faith, but it’s not for me, I am not capable of believing in things I cannot touch or I do not know to exist, and find religion often is at the root of problems rather than being a solution Plus, if there is a God, quite frankly, he’s a fucking twat.
Now, if you have picked up a paper in the last month, even the rags that are the Sun or the Mirror, you will know that there will be a visit from the pope in the not too distant future, the first to take place in 28 years. Now I have a huge issue with Catholicism. Between abusive priests, the refusal to aid in the prevention of AIDS and the refusal to accept the taking place of the Holocaust (I mean for fuck’s sake, how bloody narrow minded can one religious establishment be?) it is my firm belief that an institution that refuses to be of service to the modern world does not have a place in such a world. Now I’m not tarnishing the entire Catholic world with the same brush, there are plenty of Catholics who condemn their establishment, who respect other religions and who do not believe that their church has always been in the right when behaving in their usually cowardly manner.
Now firstly there were the news breaking that leading atheist Richard Dawkins supported actions to have the pope arrested on arrival in the United Kingdom for crimes against humanity, an initiative led by Christopher Hitchens. Although a slightly amusing notion, this was never going to happen, lets face it, Osama Bin Laden could go walking down the streets of London and people probably wouldn’t bother to have him arrested. Then the Taliban with all of their terrorism have not caused the deaths that the Aids epidemic in Africa are claiming and will continue to claim.
Now back on point, before I get too serious and depressive, today we learned that the young civil servant who circulated a “disrespectful” document in regards to items to be considered for the pope to perform when visiting Britain is Steven Mulvain, a 23-year old Oxford graduate. Now I am not a very politically correct person. I make jokes that people who don’t know me probably would take as rather offensive, although I do tend to be careful so I do not make these jokes in front of people who may be offended, or how I see it, do not have the intelligence to find society amusing rather than depressive to the point of making you want to slit your wrists, after having shot yourself in the knee caps whilst forcing yourself to watch Strictly Come Dancing reruns.
The memo, which was given the all clear by a senior civil servant (I’m guessing he wasn’t a Tory), was sent to Downing Street as well as three Whitehall departments and had some absolutely brilliant suggestions in it, very tongue in cheek, who I for one is over the moon made the news.
Now one of the suggestions, I actually think is an absolutely brilliant idea, the launching of a range of “Benedict” condoms. Quite frankly, I think that may endear the Catholic church to the rest of society at a time when the church is facing a lot of criticism. Opening an abortion clinic may be more moronic than it is funny. As I have said before, despite my disagreements with many religious establishments, especially the Catholic church, I do not think that if this suggestion was made in even a partly serious manner should it ever have been mentioned in writing. I think abortion is a choice all women should have, Catholic, Muslim or atheist, but I also think, despite being pro-abortion, this one suggestion was not made to be funny or is even Un-PC, it’s just childish and a little bit desperate.
I can’t really imagine Pope Benedict XVI blessing a gay marriage either. To be honest it seems that men in power in the Catholic church seem to like to keep their gay preferences a secret and take their closet homosexuality out on choir boys, so I doubt it Benny is going to openly admit that he do enjoys a bit of man on man action. After all, people are only going to assume he too is a paedophile, when lets face it, he had enough bad press when it came out that he was a Hitler Jugend.
Personally I think that the English government, whomever that may be when the Pope is schedueled to visit (although lets face it, we may by then be living in anarchy taken from scenes of the Mad Max trilogy) should ban the pope from visiting. The English state church is not Catholic, nor has it been in half a millenium (long live crazy royals) and although a percentage of the English people are catholic, in my eyes the pope is no better than a terrorist and until he is willing to accept responsibility for his people, which includes helping to aid the end of the AIDS epidemic in Africa rather than aid the spreading of the illness as well as admitting to his churches wrong doings he should not be let into the country.
Personally I’m all for locking him up in a room with his sick, sex-deprived priests till he realises just where he’s been going wrong.