No, this isn’t breaking news at all, but it very well could be. Whenever there are elections held in countries where the current “government” or the people attempting to get to power cannot be trusted, the Western World and the people campaigning for equality and democracy tend to go running. So how come they aren’t coming running to our aid?
Hundreds of people all over the country have not been allowed to vote due to local government fuck ups, or to your regular conspiracy theorist, cheating. It may not seem like very much, after all what can a couple of hundred voters do right? Those couple of hundred add up to start with, but more importantly, if they’ve fucked that up, what else can they have messed up.
Sod Labour, Sod the Conservatives and double sod that slimy git that is the posh little cunt David Cameron. England isn’t a democracy, a Tory party whose interests serve only those who are rich and influential does not show a fair country. Perhaps if English politicians would climb out of the days of a British Empire and the thirst for power that comes with it they may realise that for England to function in a modern society the political system will need an overhaul. At some point people will grow tired of watching their appointed MPs yelling at each other in the House of Commons like little school boys and girls, and instead want something to be done.
Perhaps the next step should be to suggest the people who voted Tory should be put in front of the Hague, charged with crimes against humanity. Or we could just put both them and those voting BNP on a deserted island and encourage a real life idiot participant Battle Royale.
Now lets be perfectly honest, this is not going to be a serious insight into the world of politics. Sure I am quite capable of being both serious and even making intelligent statements both for and against the different parties, but there are plenty of other people out there doing that and I’d suggest if that’s what you’re interested in you should read a newspaper. Well a broadsheet, I wouldn’t suggest opening up the Sun or any of the “papers” like that unless it’s for anything else but women who have had ballons fitted behind their nipples.
My first problem with the National Election is the date it’s being held. 6th of May 2010, surely the election should have been about three years ago before the country was forced to take the on a bulldog as Prime Minister because Tony Blair and his slimy smile decided to step down before the shit hit the fan. Oh, and Gordon, Tony may be “supporting” you in public, but I promise you, when he goes home, counting his money and touching himself from the excitement of all the power he is surrounded by… he still takes a second to have a giggle to himself over how he left you in charge of a roller-coaster about to go off the track.
David Cameron. He is young. He is charming. He makes YouTube videos where he has an incredibly creepy grin. Now, if you’re old enough to try and act “young and hip” or you use those words… chances are you are neither young or hip. You may however be seen as desperately trying to be. Now I admit, David Cameron does come across as one hell of nice guy, doesn’t he? The kind you’d want to take home to your mum because he’s just that eat him up alive sincere. Well, he’s a politicians, so that means he’s a born actor along with being a master class liar. Add to that, he’s a conservative. Remember how that ended last time? I guess at least Gordon Brown is too stupid to make a convincing liar, so for those of you who believed anything he ever said… never, ever, ever attempt to play poker with anyone above the age of five.
Nick Clegg. Oh Nick Clegg. Nicky Nicky Nicky Nicky Cleeeegg-erson (read whilst thinking football chant, you may get it). There’s not really much to say about Nick really. Except his head is scarily big for his tiny neck. Makes me think the weight of all those serious thoughts he must be having may very well make the poor man snap in two pieces. Now I don’t think Clegg is any worse, or better than the other two main candidates running for election, however I also think that there is no chance in hell that he will draw in enough voters to have a decent chance at winning. It’s like PE class all over again isn’t it, no one is going to pick the silent geek in the back for their team, hell even his friends tend to struggle to remember who is some of the time.
Of course there’s always Nick Griffin. Haha. Yeah I know, he makes Nick Clegg look like a viable winner doesn’t he. After all, not even in a country raged by the recession, anger about political scandals and decades of lazy immigration laws will give us a Nazi Prime Minister (I hope). Yes, I said it, he’s a Nazi. Sorry Griffin, but as much as you may try to hide it, and as much as your party may work to deny your racist (well beyond) tendencies, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if you slept with a first edition copy of Mein Kamf under your pillow. Your poor wife is all I can say, can’t be much of a turn on for her when her hubby only wants to have sex once he’s put on a fancy uniform and drawn a little stash under his nose with a black marker.
So who do you think you will vote for in the election? I think the best way of going about making your decission may very well be voting for the person you think may do the least amount of damage to the country. Can’t figure out which one that may be? Get a dart board and let lady luck decide, lets face it, either way, we’re probably screwed.