I very rarely write match previews or reactions. Or to be more specific, my versions of these, neither of which preview much of anything nor include much of a reaction, and rather ends up in a lengthy rant, positive or negative. I hate playing Liverpool. I’ve only ever written one thing ahead of a playing Liverpool, and that even included a United version of The Lord’s Prayer, which if I say so myself was pretty damn brilliant (it was in fact ludicrously poor, and looking back at it makes me cringe rather a lot. Especially after the result). Unfortunately we lost. And it hurt. So I felt rather inclined to ignore Liverpool games both pre and at times post matches from then on.
And why I don’t blog it seriously.
Now I read a fair few footballing blogs, mainly United ones, and my favourite one is a pretty serious one by a die hard fan which includes tons of news and crazy amounts of brilliant statistics, but I’d like to point out that it’s quite obvious that I am not trying to be like that.
I do serious all day long in life, why should I do it on here as well. There is a reason why a majority of sports blogs or blogs in general, don’t do very well. They’re all the fucking same. Do something original, be yourself, and stop trying to copy what made everyone else do really well, because it may not work for you, and if it does, you’re nothing put a poor copy cat anyhow. Thus endeth that rant.
Now, why don’t I do serious blogs on football you may ask? Have I not got the knowledge? Do I fuck. Have I not got the vocabulary skills? I could write sentences so beautiful it would make you come in your pants. I just chose not to. I write this blog first and foremost for my own amusement and because it makes me happy, if it amuses one or two other people as well, fucking great, but I’m not in it to become the next big football, music or god forbid sex agony aunt blogger out there. In short, I am not doing a serious blog on United’s match against Liverpool tomorrow, because every other blogger out there would have been busy doing it, and I think you lot deserve better than to be bored TO DEATH by the same shit over and over again.
I’m not doing any predictions for tomorrow (technically later today) as quite frankly, I fucking jinx us when we do. Last time I made a prediction we lost to Arsenal a few years back. Yeah, that was my fault. Sorry. I’m not going to discuss the team news, not going to discuss the statistics of previous meetings and I am certainly NOT going to discuss our last matches or any head to heads or whatever the fuck. Instead I’m just going to say a simple prayer.
“Our Eric that is in New York,
Hallowed be your name,
You who Kung-Fu’ed to make your fans happy,
Your will shall most certainly be done
At Anfield as it was at Old Trafford
Give us this day another Berbatov hatrick,
And no yellow cards for passion,
Although the Scouse bastards still haven’t forgiven Neville,
Lead us towards our 19th title,
And knock Liverpool well and truly off their fuckin’ perch
For this still isn’t their year,
In the name of Scholes, Giggs and Fergie,
For ever and ever,
COME ON REDS
I have to admit, I’ve kept quiet on the biggest story in football this last week, the departures of knob head one and two at Sky Sports, for a reason. Once you get into a conversation/argument/discussion/random exchange of words about sexism, it’s difficult to stop. Sexism is a complex topic for so many reasons. What constitutes as sexism, what’s just a joke, where do you draw the line. Every woman I know has at some point experienced some form of sexism, and I for one think it’s time we get together and stand up for ourselves.
Now, everyone who knows me knows that I despise Liverpool. I hate them. Hate. Them. However, I think it’s time I put my hatred aside and spoke up for my fellow woman, Torres, who tonight has tried to leave her job at Liverpool to go to a place where they’re much friendlier towards women. If she wants to travel to greener pastures such as that of Chelsea, where women are appreciated (mainly by John Terry), then I say, let her. Perhaps she is tired of cleaning all the shirts, ironing Gerrard’s underwear, and giving Dalglish his daily massage. Maybe she feels it was unfair that she was forced to cut her hair short so her pretty locks wouldn’t take attention away from Stevie Me. After years of torment, which has included Andy Gray asking her to tuck his shirt in more than once, and Richard Keys informing most of the team that he smashed that (both during the few Liverpool matches ESPN didn’t foolishly buy), you cannot blame her for wanting to start again.
My only hope is that if she gets her wish, she will not end up just another carelessly used player in Abramovic’s harem. I hope she will get the respect she deserves and perhaps show the rest of us, that it can be done, you can get away.
I not, I fear she’s forever doomed to be Jamie Carragher’s bit on the side, and we all know that doesn’t get you the respect of others. More importantly, it will make it impossible for Torres to respect herself, and without self-respect, what do us girls really have. Except boobs and the ability to cook that is.
You know when you look at the league table. You smile and you think, we’re going to do it this year. We are going to win the league, make it 19, knock Liverpool off their fucking perch and break a few legs as they fall. Is winning the league really enough though?
We’re not top of the league because we are having a great season. We’ve had a couple of great matches, some brilliant displays of football, but all in all we’re having a pretty poor season. Poor by United standards, not like going to tumble into Division one (sorry, the Championship) West Ham style poor. The thing is, everyone else seems to be having a poorer season than us. City being top of the league for a split-second alone is evidence that hell is freezing over, the cow jumped over the moon and Susan Boyle did a sing song (and remembered the words).
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a hard fought win, I am not complaining about today’s three points, I am merely saying that I wish we weren’t making things so difficult for ourselves. Or maybe I just miss the days when we were the best team in the world and nobody thought to question it. I mean, now at days, people question it.
I don’t care how we win, as long as we do, although of course I would prefer it if we did it in beautiful football style rather than the Chelsea or Liverpool way (they happen to lose in the same way that they win) of “we are going to play so mind numbingly boring that our fans may actually kill themselves and hence forget that we’re shite”. That’s not too much to ask for is it?
Hopefully the New Year will bring some good performances as well as some more three pointers, although, of course if I had to chose, I’ll take the points. I just don’t want to fucking chose.
United, top of the fucking league.